Gala Darling's #Lovetober Challenge

It's #Lovetober, the wonderful creation of the fabulous Gala Darling. I can't even begin to express my gratitude for this beautiful woman. I started following Gala way back when I was seeking out like-minded people and her radical self love-way of life had a huge impact on my own life. 

After years of sadness, self-hatred and utter chaos, I was ready to give up that jig and start embracing life. Gala has been a pivotal part of that journey <3

So far, I'm thoroughly enjoying #lovetober. Follow my month on Girlzonfire's Instagram
Check out the links below to find out more about it.

Love and light x

#Lovetober

Gala Darling's Website

Ch-ch-changes, and such like..

Like it or loathe it, change is one of life's constants. The only control we have in matters of change, upheaval, distress, etc. boils down to how we choose to react to them...It's not easy, as most of us know. 

I've been thinking about this a lot as there's been some changes in my life recently that I haven't exactly welcomed with open arms. I want to move in a particular direction but life is hell-bent on taking me in another...Ugh! But, when you fight *what is*, you're guaranteed one outcome: misery. 

Just as I was starting down that rabbit hole, I was reminded that faith (in the Universe, Unicorns, Love, whatever...) isn't something you cherish when times are good and relegate to the sidelines when the road gets rocky. Sometimes, you just have to admit that things are a bit shit/not exactly the way you want them to be, and roll with the punches anyway. Admitting that doesn't have to shake your faith that all will be well. It tends to strengthen it more than anything, in my experience at least.

I've tackled some pretty big hurdles in my life. If you're above ground, chances are, you've tackled some major hurdles too. Sometimes we think that we won't survive the difficult periods in our lives - usually as we're going through them - and yet we do. Some say we should even be thankful for the most difficult periods in our lives...to use a trite maxim, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...

If you're travelling along a rocky road right now, I feel you. Keep going, keep the faith and keep learning . And 'cultivate an inner-voice that is 100% on your team' ~ W.D.

Love and light x

Love Yourself First. The World Will Follow.

Hi friends,

So I know the whole 'self-love' thing can sound a bit cringey to some, and I get it. We live in a society that places exorbitant emphasis on the external - it often seems as though society is designed to prevent us from waking up. The good news is it doesn't have to be that way. The better news is once you make the commitment to love yourself, I guarantee you that every single aspect of your life will improve. Sure, your circumstances may remain the same, but as Henry David Thoreau once said, 'it's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.'

To be fair, there was a time when I felt uncomfortable about the idea of loving myself fully. I had no idea what that even meant. As it happens, it's turned out to be the single most important lesson of my life. The way we feel about ourselves impacts on every single aspect of our lives, from our health to our relationships, to our work, our faith...everything! 

That old saying, 'If you don't love yourself, nobody else is going to love you' gets bandied about a lot and it's clearly untrue! What's true is if you don't love yourself, it's going to be very difficult to soak up all the love others have for you. Also, the relationship we have with ourselves is infinitely more important than those we have with others, and those relationships will only grow stronger as a result because we're so much more open and loving when we're at peace with ourselves. 

Here's some tips to get you started on your diet of self-love:

1. Mindfulness

Simply put, mindfulness is the non-judgemental awareness of our experiences in the present moment. I cannot overemphasise the benefits of mindfulness meditation. It's a great way to start the day off and a solid means by which to get to know ourselves better. Over time, it teaches us how to stay in the moment, thus reducing stress and anxiety. 

Click here and here for a guide to get started. There's loads of lovely guided meditations on YouTube worth checking out.

2. Be Kind to Yourself

Do something nice for yourself every day. It doesn't matter what it is as long as it makes you feel good. There's nothing I love more than cooking myself a delicious, nourishing meal after a long day. 

3. Healthy Body, Healthy Mind

Look after yourself by filling up on nourishing food throughout the day. Get plenty of exercise in. I'm always amazed at how good I feel (mentally) after a run. I can't say the running part is always easy, but it's always worth it! ;) Most importantly, get plenty of sleep! See What Actually Happens While You Sleep and How It Affects Your Every Waking Moment  

4. Only Spend Time With People Who Lift You Up

We've all experienced those friendships where you come away feeling as though you've just donated a litre of blood. In the past I've put so much energy into 'dead-end friendships'. Life is far too precious for those shenanigans. Friends who drain the life out of you / aren't supportive of you / can't be happy for you, etc. aren't worth your time and energy. Wish them well and move on!

5. Take Yourself on a Date

This is one of the most fun things to do! You can do anything you want without the worry of keeping anyone else entertained. Take yourself on a walk, to the cinema, to the beach, whatever you want. Spending quality time with yourself is fab & very worthwhile. I often take off on my bike in the evenings to explore new parts of the city I live in. It's the perfect opportunity to spend time alone & it makes for an interesting evening.

6. Live Truthfully

Get honest with yourself and others in your live. Being able to state your needs and wants is a crucial step towards self-love. 

7. Practice Gratitude

Before you go to bed for the evening, consider writing a gratitude list - I write down 3 things I'm grateful for every night before I go to bed and pop it into my gratitude jar. Get creative with it and make your own. The very act of looking at the jar throughout the day can shift my mood. It serves as a great reminder of all of the things I'm thankful for in my day-to-day life. Also, going to bed with a feeling of gratitude is so lovely.

8. Forgive Yourself

Holding onto past regrets can weigh heavily on the soul. We're not perfect, nor will we ever be so it's essential to forgive yourself and let past hurts and mistakes go. This is one of the tougher things to do, but it's crucial in moving forward and embracing a full and healthy relationship with ourselves. 

Above all else, Have Fun!

Love and light to all x

'Each person has the power to change the world' How will you celebrate Mandela Day?

Hi friends,

This blog is meant to be choc-a-bloc with positive, uplifting material, and it will be, just bear with me... I'm new to blogging and I'm discovering quickly that it's not so different from face-to-face conversations with friends, and hence authenticity is key. 

It's not possible to talk about celebrating the life work of one of the most inspirational leaders of our time without acknowledging the turmoil that's taking place in the world at the moment. Like many of you, I've been looking on in horror as the violence around the globe intensifies. My heart is heavy as I watch / read about the unrelenting bombing of Gaza children. As I type, massive explosions are shaking Khan Yunis city ( a city in the southern Gaza strip ) as the Israeli armed forces have dropped smoke bombs over the area. There's little official media coverage of this particular incident right now. It's incomprehensible to me how the world, how our global leaders can stand by and watch this genocide take place without intervening. As I sit back in the comfort of my home watching the news, without fear of attack at any moment, I feel both infuriated and helpless. My thoughts are with all of those under attack as well as the families of those lost in the Malaysian Airline crash.

I'd almost forgotten that today is #MandelaDay. If ever there was a reminder needed that 'each person has the power to change the world', today is that day. I visited Robben Island prison a number of years ago and I'll never forget the feeling I had as I looked in on the minuscule 8x7 cell where Mandela spent 18 years of his life. It wasn't the anger or sadness I expected to feel for a man who had his freedom torn away from him. Instead, it ignited a sense of inner hope and possibility that I hadn't felt in a long time. It was utterly empowering. Instead of succumbing to bitterness or despair, this man followed his truth - the truth that love, forgiveness and dogged determination have the power to change the world. 

I'm now conjuring up how I felt as I stood outside what has become known as cell #5. Today I'll dedicate 67 minutes (minimum) of my time - a minute for each year of Mandela's public service - to doing something for others. (I'll write a post about that later) If you've managed to read this far, thank you, and I challenge you to do the same. If you can't get out, think of another way to bring positivity into someone's life today. Something as simple as cultivating loving-kindness in meditation has far-reaching effects. Follow this link for a guided meditation.

Global change starts at an individual level as Madiba has demonstrated. On that note, here is a site that may be of interest to those of you wishing to take action on apartheid Israel at a local level. It provides information on ethical purchasing and offers a peaceful means of putting international pressure on Israel. 

Have a wonderful #MandelaDay lovelies. 'Be the change you want to see in the world'

Love and light to all x

Hello friends,

Girlzonfire is making slow but steady progress. It's still in the process of becoming, if you will. In keeping with the theme of this project, that will always be the case  A bit like Elizabeth Bishop's "The Monument" [Read it here:http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-monument/ ] Bishop’s art form is one of process that gives way to a 'transmutation of fire' serving as a profound reminder that nothing is truly fixed in this land we inhabit. That's pretty liberating when you think about it! 

Keep an eye out for the daily dose of self-love...coming soon! Also, please follow Girlzonfire on twitter @Girlzonfire0 

Love and light to all x